Genesis 1:27,
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Notice that they were both classified as “man.”
Genesis 5:2,
Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. Notice that God called their name Adam.
Genesis 2:21-24,
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Notice that God said they shall be one flesh. ONE FLESH!
Deuteronomy 24:1-2,
1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.Who is the author of all scripture? God.
Who says a man may give her a writing of divorcement? God.
God is saying here that she may go and be another man’s wife! According to the Word of God she would not be living in a state of perpetual sin. God would not tell a person they may do anything that would be sinful, therefore, divorce itself is not a sin!
Does God recognize divorce? Yes!
Leviticus 20:10
10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Since you are one flesh, if your spouse commits adultery with some other person, then you are guilty of adultery too. Therefore, you must get a divorce or you will be guilty of the same sin by proxy. Of course, after you get the divorce you’ve gotta kill him/her! No! I'm just kidding! If you do you’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars! The point is that we are all sinners and even if you didn't commit any sin you would be guilty of your wife's sins because you are one flesh. In this case 1 + 1 = 1.
Jeremiah 3:14
14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: God is speaking here and He says he is married to Israel.
Isaiah 50:1,
Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.God divorced Himself from Israel because she committed adultery with other (false) gods.
Matthew 5:27-32,
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. We’re all guilty!
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. We all have looked on someone with lust in our hearts, but how many of us have plucked out an eye? But for us to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness we would have to pluck out an eye.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. If we are to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness we should cut off our hand. If that part of our one flesh, called the wife/husband, is placing us in a state of sin then we should cut that person off (through divorce) from ourselves if we are to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: Deut 24:1 says, “because he hath found some uncleanness in her.”
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.Now we know what that uncleaness is…it is fornication.
What is fornication…? Any sexual misconduct is fornication…homosexual acts, adultery, bestiality…I could go on, but you get the picture. It is not just adultery. All adultery is fornication but not all fornication is adultery.
If she (or he if applicable) commits fornication, then he (or she if applicable) can get a divorce and not be guilty of causing him (or her if applicable) to commit adultery.
Notice that Jesus has placed this immediately following plucking out an eye or cutting off a hand. It’s related.
Matthew 19:1-9,
19:1 And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? No, the only lawful cause is fornication. But remember, Christians are not living under the law but are under grace. The unsaved are subject to the law, however, and are condemned by it.
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? Moses? This refers to the first five books of the OT; Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy; written by Moses under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, called the Pentateuch. The man Moses is not what they are referring to here, they know that God is the true author of all scripture. In those days the Pentateuch was called “Moses.” Commanded? Yes, in the same sense that Leviticus 20:10 commands that “the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” If the innocent person did not get a divorce, then, since they are one flesh, technically the innocent would have to be put to death also. In the case in which she/he was put to death then remarriage would not be an issue.
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. God had to allow divorce as a means of maintaining one’s state of holiness. But from the beginning, before sin was in the world and man’s heart was hardened, fornication and divorce would never, ever have been an issue. Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve would never have even thought of fornication and divorce. Divorce is not sin, it is the result of sin. If divorce is because of a reason other than fornication, then that divorce leads to sin, but divorce itself is not sin.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. If you divorce her because of adultery then after the divorce are you supposed to kill her? According to Old Testament law it would appear that we should, however we are not living under the law but under grace. Does God’s grace cover adultery? Yes, all our sin is covered by the shed blood of Christ Jesus.
Mark 10:1-12,
10:1 And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again.
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? Jesus says, “command.”
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. “Moses,” remember, is the first five books of the Bible. They are not referring to the man Moses, but to the Word of God.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. Except for fornication, as already established.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Except for fornication.
John 8:3-7
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? Commanded!
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. What is this? God made the law, now He is saying “don’t stone her?” We are now living under grace, not law. We follow the spirit of the law, but not the letter of the law.
The point is that it’s impossible to keep the law. It is impossible to be without sin…as long as we’re in this flesh. It is impossible to be good enough to make it to heaven on our own merit.
James 2:10-11
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law. Transgression of the law is sin.
Romans 6:22-7:1
22 But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. Our holiness is from Christ, not through our works.
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. If we are guilty of any sin it results in death. Thank God that Jesus bore our sin guilt and as our substitute He took our death.
Isaiah 64:6
6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. Divorce is not sin, it is either the result of sin or it results in sin. If your husband/wife has committed adultery and you get a divorce, then you have not sinned. The so-called “innocent party” is never truly innocent. We have all sinned. Maybe we didn’t commit adultery but we have committed some sin.
It has been said too many times that if you get divorced then God cannot use you, that you are only good to be put up on a shelf and give your tithe, that you can never hold an office in a church or be a preacher. Oftentimes those who say this cite I Timothy 3:2 and 12.
1 Timothy 3:2
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; "...one wife..." does this mean that a single man cannot be a preacher?
And 1 Timothy 3:12
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. In each of these cases these people argue that it says “…the husband of one wife…” and they say divorced people got married in God’s view but got divorced in man’s court, therefore in God’s eyes they are still married to their first wife. But, Deuteronomy 23:1, 2 are still in the Bible. God does recognize divorce! The people who cite these verses are making their own private interpretation of the scripture to make it say what they want it to say.
In Bible times and even today in Muslim lands and in Utah it is/was common for men to have multiple wives. This is what is obviously referred to here. We could argue that verse 12 says, “husbands (plural) of one wife (singular)” and that according to scripture all the deacons have to share the same wife!
What about that situation where a husband severely beats his wife? Some men have a form of insanity wherein they repeatedly beat their wife then apologize and make-up, then again beat their wife and again make-up, and the situation continuously repeats in a vicious circle. It would be insanity to stay with such a man. She must leave her husband immediately and stay hidden. It has been proven too many times that going back to an abusive husband results in the death of the wife. It has been found that even after extensive counseling these men often kill their wives after they get back together.
The fact is that too many Christians place undue burdens on others over the divorce issue. We are not living under the law! Christians should remember this! Too many uninformed people who are in authoritative positions, who should know better, try to apply the letter of the law to Christian behavior. We call these people “legalists.” We are not living under the letter of the law but under grace.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the rate of divorce in the U.S. is 3.6 divorces per 1,000 people; the rate peaked at 5.3 per 1,000 in 1981. Notably, for some strange reason divorce rates are highest in states where many conservative Baptists live, including Arkansas and Mississippi, while the percentage dips in the more liberal-leaning and Catholic Northeast and upper Midwest.
The divorce rate in this country is high, but it’s not simply because of women working, as in “Rosie The Riveter,” or any one particular reason. There are a multitude of reasons: our society is more mobile, telephones allow instant communications, unfaithful partners are now getting caught more often, morals have loosened, and Satan has not given up. The family social life used to revolve around the church but now we have television. Divorce is not the problem! Sin is the problem!
Ephesians 5:20-33
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. “One to another,” means Christian to Christian. This applies to both sexes. We should be servants to each other in a Christ-like manner.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Wives are to be submissive to their own husbands as they (wives) are also submissive to Christ, but this does not include being submissive to their husbands to the point of committing sin. Wives are not required to be submissive to other men except as mentioned in verse 21.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. After a husband makes the final decision, even if the wife disagreed with that decision, she should accept it. Women are not inferior in God’s eyes; In Acts Peter said, “God is no respecter of persons.” They are man. Genesis says, “God created man, male and female created He them.” In Matthew Jesus says, “For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.” The family, as we know it, will not exist in heaven.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Husbands are to love their wives in a self-sacrificing way! What is love? It is giving. Husbands should explain their reasons for casting an opposing but binding vote.
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Because husbands and wives are one flesh.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Notice that this reads like the Golden Rule, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” We men are commanded to love our wives. Likewise there are no preconditions, no ifs, on her reverence. She is commanded to reverence her husband, but this is automatic with love. If she loves him she will show reverence toward him. If a husband has to demand his wife’s reverence, then it will not be genuine.
Galations 3:28
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Men are not superior to women.
1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. It is quite clear that the husband is to have the final say-so. Between themselves the husband and wife vote on an issue but he can overrule the wife’s vote.
Collossians 3:18-21
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. This cinches it. Wives must be submissive to their husbands.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Husbands, your wife is not to be treated like an inferior.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. If a father is not to provoke his child, then neither should he provoke his wife! Neither marriage partner should be a controlling person.
We often hear it preached that husbands should wear the pants in the family. Surely, no one would deny that the husband should be the man of the house, but this does not mean that the husband should lord it over the wife, constantly demanding subservience.
On the other hand, the wife should not assume the role of the man of the house and be constantly giving orders. She shouldn’t fly into a tirade whenever her husband doesn’t snap to attention, click his heels, and immediately obey her executive orders.
Wives often state that when the husband refuses to be the man of the house, then someone has to. It is true, that if the husband refuses to take the leadership role, and he relinquishes his role, then someone has to, and this would normally be the wife. However, oftentimes the husband has not abdicated his role but the wife only perceives that he is not behaving as she thinks he should. Therefore, she mutinies against her husband and tries to assume command. Then she nags when he doesn’t do as she bids. Not everyone agrees as to how a man should behave, just as not everyone agrees as to how a wife should behave.
In a loving husband-wife relationship no one is “in command,” no one is in-charge over the other one. The husband has the ultimate say-so, but that doesn’t mean that the wife has no input. The wife has a vote on family decisions but the husband can “trump” that vote, that is to say that the husband’s vote overrules the wife’s vote. Hopefully, most of the time the husband and wife will discuss issues and they will be in agreement, in other words they will vote the same way. A primary factor in a successful marriage relationship is communication. Discuss the issues as equals. The husband and wife are equals but she should be submissive to her husband, but that doesn’t mean that the wife has no say-so, or that she is inferior.
When should a husband throw his “trump” card, his overrule vote? When circumstances require mandatory compliance. For example, a hurricane is coming and you’re in its path, the wife says, “If we leave, looters will steal everything we’ve got.” The husband says, “I know, but we’ll still be alive. Come on. We’re leaving.” He cast the final deciding vote, his trump card. Compliance was mandatory.
Another example would be when she wants a new car, but after discussing it and viewing the options he says, “It would be nice to have a new car, but we simply can’t afford it. Maybe later when we get some of these bills paid off.” He cast the final deciding vote because circumstances made compliance mandatory. Oftentimes husbands try to placate their wives by giving-in and buying the new car anyway, but then they’re in debt beyond their means, and marital discord results.
Not all actions are mandatory some are optional. The decision to buy a new set of dishes is usually optional. The decision as to which vacuum cleaner to buy is usually optional, but it is best left up to the person who will be using it. The color of a new car is optional, as is the make, but extra consideration should be given to the person who will be the primary driver.
If the wife is to be the primary driver of the new car and she says, “Honey, I want a blue car. Blue is my favorite color.”
Then he says, “Ugh!”
She says, “Come on Honey, it’s my favorite color.” A loving husband would say, “I hate blue. But if blue is what you want, then blue is what you’ll get.”
When it’s his turn to buy a new truck and he wants red, if she says, “Ugh!”
He can say, “You got your color for the new car, now it’s my turn to get my color.”
You see, it was optional; they discussed it and both people had their input, and they both ended up happy.
Some people would say, “They compromised! That’s a bad word! My preacher said we should never compromise.” We should never compromise on anything when compliance is mandatory. We should never compromise on our religious beliefs or stand; they are not optional.
But there is nothing wrong with husband-wife compromises on optional issues. In fact it is a cardinal factor in a happy marriage.
What about the case where the husband wants to buy a brand new car but the income to debt ratio is too adverse to fit a brand new car into the budget? The husband-wife couple discusses the automobile purchase and the wife votes against it because they just don’t have enough income. But the husband arrogantly announces that he is in charge and overrules his wife then buys the car anyway.
Was the purchase mandatory or optional? Surely there would be no time when it would be mandatory, so it would be optional. When the missed payments occur and the credit rating goes sour the wife will constantly nag and never let him forget that he overruled her. In a case like this it is hard to sympathize with the husband when he complains that she doesn’t reverence him.
Some husbands demand that their wives show them proper reverence. They say that their wives refuse to take their proper place in the marriage relationship. When their wives ask them what is their proper place, they’re told, “Two steps behind me!” These husbands should remember that the church is the bride of Christ! A bride is a female wife. Their day is coming! A husband and wife should be a team like a team of horses, beside each other pulling in the same direction.
Some people, including preachers, have said that a wife should always be obedient to her husband and do whatever he says. This has caused some misunderstanding. If a husband says to his wife, “I’m going to hold-up a liquor store and I want you to drive the get-away car,” you should not do it. You should never violate a commandment of God in order to be obedient to your husband. “My husband ordered me to do it,” is not an adequate defense in a court of law.
Wives, if they are ladies, should never forget that they are to be submissive and reverence their husbands. Husbands, if they are gentlemen, should never think about it.
http://dennyschristianwritings.blogspot.com/
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Notice that they were both classified as “man.”
Genesis 5:2,
Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. Notice that God called their name Adam.
Genesis 2:21-24,
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Notice that God said they shall be one flesh. ONE FLESH!
Deuteronomy 24:1-2,
1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.Who is the author of all scripture? God.
Who says a man may give her a writing of divorcement? God.
God is saying here that she may go and be another man’s wife! According to the Word of God she would not be living in a state of perpetual sin. God would not tell a person they may do anything that would be sinful, therefore, divorce itself is not a sin!
Does God recognize divorce? Yes!
Leviticus 20:10
10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. Since you are one flesh, if your spouse commits adultery with some other person, then you are guilty of adultery too. Therefore, you must get a divorce or you will be guilty of the same sin by proxy. Of course, after you get the divorce you’ve gotta kill him/her! No! I'm just kidding! If you do you’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars! The point is that we are all sinners and even if you didn't commit any sin you would be guilty of your wife's sins because you are one flesh. In this case 1 + 1 = 1.
Jeremiah 3:14
14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: God is speaking here and He says he is married to Israel.
Isaiah 50:1,
Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.God divorced Himself from Israel because she committed adultery with other (false) gods.
Matthew 5:27-32,
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. We’re all guilty!
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. We all have looked on someone with lust in our hearts, but how many of us have plucked out an eye? But for us to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness we would have to pluck out an eye.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. If we are to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness we should cut off our hand. If that part of our one flesh, called the wife/husband, is placing us in a state of sin then we should cut that person off (through divorce) from ourselves if we are to maintain our flesh in a state of holiness.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: Deut 24:1 says, “because he hath found some uncleanness in her.”
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.Now we know what that uncleaness is…it is fornication.
What is fornication…? Any sexual misconduct is fornication…homosexual acts, adultery, bestiality…I could go on, but you get the picture. It is not just adultery. All adultery is fornication but not all fornication is adultery.
If she (or he if applicable) commits fornication, then he (or she if applicable) can get a divorce and not be guilty of causing him (or her if applicable) to commit adultery.
Notice that Jesus has placed this immediately following plucking out an eye or cutting off a hand. It’s related.
Matthew 19:1-9,
19:1 And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? No, the only lawful cause is fornication. But remember, Christians are not living under the law but are under grace. The unsaved are subject to the law, however, and are condemned by it.
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? Moses? This refers to the first five books of the OT; Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy; written by Moses under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, called the Pentateuch. The man Moses is not what they are referring to here, they know that God is the true author of all scripture. In those days the Pentateuch was called “Moses.” Commanded? Yes, in the same sense that Leviticus 20:10 commands that “the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” If the innocent person did not get a divorce, then, since they are one flesh, technically the innocent would have to be put to death also. In the case in which she/he was put to death then remarriage would not be an issue.
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. God had to allow divorce as a means of maintaining one’s state of holiness. But from the beginning, before sin was in the world and man’s heart was hardened, fornication and divorce would never, ever have been an issue. Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve would never have even thought of fornication and divorce. Divorce is not sin, it is the result of sin. If divorce is because of a reason other than fornication, then that divorce leads to sin, but divorce itself is not sin.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. If you divorce her because of adultery then after the divorce are you supposed to kill her? According to Old Testament law it would appear that we should, however we are not living under the law but under grace. Does God’s grace cover adultery? Yes, all our sin is covered by the shed blood of Christ Jesus.
Mark 10:1-12,
10:1 And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again.
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? Jesus says, “command.”
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. “Moses,” remember, is the first five books of the Bible. They are not referring to the man Moses, but to the Word of God.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. Except for fornication, as already established.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Except for fornication.
John 8:3-7
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? Commanded!
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. What is this? God made the law, now He is saying “don’t stone her?” We are now living under grace, not law. We follow the spirit of the law, but not the letter of the law.
The point is that it’s impossible to keep the law. It is impossible to be without sin…as long as we’re in this flesh. It is impossible to be good enough to make it to heaven on our own merit.
James 2:10-11
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law. Transgression of the law is sin.
Romans 6:22-7:1
22 But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. Our holiness is from Christ, not through our works.
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. If we are guilty of any sin it results in death. Thank God that Jesus bore our sin guilt and as our substitute He took our death.
Isaiah 64:6
6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. Divorce is not sin, it is either the result of sin or it results in sin. If your husband/wife has committed adultery and you get a divorce, then you have not sinned. The so-called “innocent party” is never truly innocent. We have all sinned. Maybe we didn’t commit adultery but we have committed some sin.
It has been said too many times that if you get divorced then God cannot use you, that you are only good to be put up on a shelf and give your tithe, that you can never hold an office in a church or be a preacher. Oftentimes those who say this cite I Timothy 3:2 and 12.
1 Timothy 3:2
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; "...one wife..." does this mean that a single man cannot be a preacher?
And 1 Timothy 3:12
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. In each of these cases these people argue that it says “…the husband of one wife…” and they say divorced people got married in God’s view but got divorced in man’s court, therefore in God’s eyes they are still married to their first wife. But, Deuteronomy 23:1, 2 are still in the Bible. God does recognize divorce! The people who cite these verses are making their own private interpretation of the scripture to make it say what they want it to say.
In Bible times and even today in Muslim lands and in Utah it is/was common for men to have multiple wives. This is what is obviously referred to here. We could argue that verse 12 says, “husbands (plural) of one wife (singular)” and that according to scripture all the deacons have to share the same wife!
What about that situation where a husband severely beats his wife? Some men have a form of insanity wherein they repeatedly beat their wife then apologize and make-up, then again beat their wife and again make-up, and the situation continuously repeats in a vicious circle. It would be insanity to stay with such a man. She must leave her husband immediately and stay hidden. It has been proven too many times that going back to an abusive husband results in the death of the wife. It has been found that even after extensive counseling these men often kill their wives after they get back together.
The fact is that too many Christians place undue burdens on others over the divorce issue. We are not living under the law! Christians should remember this! Too many uninformed people who are in authoritative positions, who should know better, try to apply the letter of the law to Christian behavior. We call these people “legalists.” We are not living under the letter of the law but under grace.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the rate of divorce in the U.S. is 3.6 divorces per 1,000 people; the rate peaked at 5.3 per 1,000 in 1981. Notably, for some strange reason divorce rates are highest in states where many conservative Baptists live, including Arkansas and Mississippi, while the percentage dips in the more liberal-leaning and Catholic Northeast and upper Midwest.
The divorce rate in this country is high, but it’s not simply because of women working, as in “Rosie The Riveter,” or any one particular reason. There are a multitude of reasons: our society is more mobile, telephones allow instant communications, unfaithful partners are now getting caught more often, morals have loosened, and Satan has not given up. The family social life used to revolve around the church but now we have television. Divorce is not the problem! Sin is the problem!
Ephesians 5:20-33
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. “One to another,” means Christian to Christian. This applies to both sexes. We should be servants to each other in a Christ-like manner.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Wives are to be submissive to their own husbands as they (wives) are also submissive to Christ, but this does not include being submissive to their husbands to the point of committing sin. Wives are not required to be submissive to other men except as mentioned in verse 21.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. After a husband makes the final decision, even if the wife disagreed with that decision, she should accept it. Women are not inferior in God’s eyes; In Acts Peter said, “God is no respecter of persons.” They are man. Genesis says, “God created man, male and female created He them.” In Matthew Jesus says, “For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.” The family, as we know it, will not exist in heaven.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Husbands are to love their wives in a self-sacrificing way! What is love? It is giving. Husbands should explain their reasons for casting an opposing but binding vote.
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Because husbands and wives are one flesh.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Notice that this reads like the Golden Rule, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” We men are commanded to love our wives. Likewise there are no preconditions, no ifs, on her reverence. She is commanded to reverence her husband, but this is automatic with love. If she loves him she will show reverence toward him. If a husband has to demand his wife’s reverence, then it will not be genuine.
Galations 3:28
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Men are not superior to women.
1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. It is quite clear that the husband is to have the final say-so. Between themselves the husband and wife vote on an issue but he can overrule the wife’s vote.
Collossians 3:18-21
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. This cinches it. Wives must be submissive to their husbands.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Husbands, your wife is not to be treated like an inferior.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. If a father is not to provoke his child, then neither should he provoke his wife! Neither marriage partner should be a controlling person.
We often hear it preached that husbands should wear the pants in the family. Surely, no one would deny that the husband should be the man of the house, but this does not mean that the husband should lord it over the wife, constantly demanding subservience.
On the other hand, the wife should not assume the role of the man of the house and be constantly giving orders. She shouldn’t fly into a tirade whenever her husband doesn’t snap to attention, click his heels, and immediately obey her executive orders.
Wives often state that when the husband refuses to be the man of the house, then someone has to. It is true, that if the husband refuses to take the leadership role, and he relinquishes his role, then someone has to, and this would normally be the wife. However, oftentimes the husband has not abdicated his role but the wife only perceives that he is not behaving as she thinks he should. Therefore, she mutinies against her husband and tries to assume command. Then she nags when he doesn’t do as she bids. Not everyone agrees as to how a man should behave, just as not everyone agrees as to how a wife should behave.
In a loving husband-wife relationship no one is “in command,” no one is in-charge over the other one. The husband has the ultimate say-so, but that doesn’t mean that the wife has no input. The wife has a vote on family decisions but the husband can “trump” that vote, that is to say that the husband’s vote overrules the wife’s vote. Hopefully, most of the time the husband and wife will discuss issues and they will be in agreement, in other words they will vote the same way. A primary factor in a successful marriage relationship is communication. Discuss the issues as equals. The husband and wife are equals but she should be submissive to her husband, but that doesn’t mean that the wife has no say-so, or that she is inferior.
When should a husband throw his “trump” card, his overrule vote? When circumstances require mandatory compliance. For example, a hurricane is coming and you’re in its path, the wife says, “If we leave, looters will steal everything we’ve got.” The husband says, “I know, but we’ll still be alive. Come on. We’re leaving.” He cast the final deciding vote, his trump card. Compliance was mandatory.
Another example would be when she wants a new car, but after discussing it and viewing the options he says, “It would be nice to have a new car, but we simply can’t afford it. Maybe later when we get some of these bills paid off.” He cast the final deciding vote because circumstances made compliance mandatory. Oftentimes husbands try to placate their wives by giving-in and buying the new car anyway, but then they’re in debt beyond their means, and marital discord results.
Not all actions are mandatory some are optional. The decision to buy a new set of dishes is usually optional. The decision as to which vacuum cleaner to buy is usually optional, but it is best left up to the person who will be using it. The color of a new car is optional, as is the make, but extra consideration should be given to the person who will be the primary driver.
If the wife is to be the primary driver of the new car and she says, “Honey, I want a blue car. Blue is my favorite color.”
Then he says, “Ugh!”
She says, “Come on Honey, it’s my favorite color.” A loving husband would say, “I hate blue. But if blue is what you want, then blue is what you’ll get.”
When it’s his turn to buy a new truck and he wants red, if she says, “Ugh!”
He can say, “You got your color for the new car, now it’s my turn to get my color.”
You see, it was optional; they discussed it and both people had their input, and they both ended up happy.
Some people would say, “They compromised! That’s a bad word! My preacher said we should never compromise.” We should never compromise on anything when compliance is mandatory. We should never compromise on our religious beliefs or stand; they are not optional.
But there is nothing wrong with husband-wife compromises on optional issues. In fact it is a cardinal factor in a happy marriage.
What about the case where the husband wants to buy a brand new car but the income to debt ratio is too adverse to fit a brand new car into the budget? The husband-wife couple discusses the automobile purchase and the wife votes against it because they just don’t have enough income. But the husband arrogantly announces that he is in charge and overrules his wife then buys the car anyway.
Was the purchase mandatory or optional? Surely there would be no time when it would be mandatory, so it would be optional. When the missed payments occur and the credit rating goes sour the wife will constantly nag and never let him forget that he overruled her. In a case like this it is hard to sympathize with the husband when he complains that she doesn’t reverence him.
Some husbands demand that their wives show them proper reverence. They say that their wives refuse to take their proper place in the marriage relationship. When their wives ask them what is their proper place, they’re told, “Two steps behind me!” These husbands should remember that the church is the bride of Christ! A bride is a female wife. Their day is coming! A husband and wife should be a team like a team of horses, beside each other pulling in the same direction.
Some people, including preachers, have said that a wife should always be obedient to her husband and do whatever he says. This has caused some misunderstanding. If a husband says to his wife, “I’m going to hold-up a liquor store and I want you to drive the get-away car,” you should not do it. You should never violate a commandment of God in order to be obedient to your husband. “My husband ordered me to do it,” is not an adequate defense in a court of law.
Wives, if they are ladies, should never forget that they are to be submissive and reverence their husbands. Husbands, if they are gentlemen, should never think about it.
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